Seinfeld's Last Stand is a Season 1 episode of Celebrity Deathmatch . It is the first episode of the season, and is also considered the first full episode of the entire series, following the popularity of Deathbowl '98 one-off episode.
It is also the first episode to feature a large number of cameo appearances from various celebrities.
The episode contained three sanctioned fights. The first undercart fight featured First Lady Hillary Clinton against Monica Lewinsky . The second undercart fight was between actor/comedian Jim Carrey and singer Mariah Carey . Finally, the Main Event of the episode saw actors/comedians Tim Allen and Jerry Seinfeld facing off against each other in the ring.
As the show begins, spectators Johnny Gomez and Nick Diamond introduce the show by announcing the three fights of the evening. Following this, they then pass over to interviewer Stacy Cornbred , who is outside the arena waiting to speak to tonight's fighters. As Stacy begins her report, she explains that the arrival of the celebrity combatants is causing chaos, what with the arrival of Clinton and Lewinsky resulting in security separating the two. The camera then switches to the interior parking lot, where Mariah and Jim are arguing over whose parking space they are fighting over, when Drew Carey , among the confusion, also gets involved. Back outside, Stacy welcomes the arrival of Seinfeld; upon asking about the crowd, Stacy explains that they are likely his fans, causing him to question the term 'fans', elaborating that they don't 'cool him down'. Exasperated, Stacy then hands back to the announer's booth.
Fight 1: Hillary Clinton vs. Monica LewinskyEditAfter the introduction by spectators, Clinton and Lewinsky make their way to the center of the ring, where referee Mills Lane is waiting to start the match. After explaining the rules, Mills then requests that Lewinsky removes her beret before the fight. She complies, but instead throws it at Hillary; moments after being thrown, the beret is actually revealed to be a throwing star in disguise. Hillary evades, and the star instead hits Gennifer Flowers , who is sat in the audience next to Hillary's husband, President Bill Clinton , and kills her.
As the fight begins, Lewinsky starts exhibiting a bizarre martial arts skill identified as the 'Lady Mantis'. However, Clinton easily overpowers her and throws her to the floor. After pinning and strangling her, Lewinsky soon manages to hit Clinton in the face, allowing her to roll over and do the exact same to her. Bill shouts some words of encouragement from the sidelines, distracting Lewinsky as she believes he is cheering her on. Clinton uses this opportunity to kick her off and into the ropes. However, Lewinsky launches straight back into Clinton, knocking them both out of the ring.
Once outside, Clinton grabs Lewinsky by the hair and starts slamming her head onto the ringside steps. After a while, Clinton decides that her actions are beneath her; instead, she grabs a security railing (which separates the audience from ringside) and proceeds to repeatedly hit Lewinsky over the head with it. While this is going on, Stacy Cornbred approaches Bill and asks for a few words on Clinton's performance in the ring. Bill expresses his confidence in his wife's fighting, but is distracted when he asks a female member of the audience to grab is 'nuts'. The woman is revealed to be Paula Jones , and while he was innocently asking for her to grab the peanuts he purchased from the cart, his choice of words enrages both Clinton and Lewinsky, who both decide to form an alliance and turn on the President. The President is promptly escorted from the arena, with his wife and lover in pursuit.
After the commercial break, Nick and Johnny begin to talk about the incident leading to the night's Main Event. The camera then switches to the Deathmatch Conference room, where Seinfeld is being questioned about his feelings for his fight. After being excused to grab a bottle of soda, the reporters begin briefly questioning Seinfeld's co-stars, Jason Alexander , Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Michael Richards . Upon Seinfeld's return, the conference is interrupted when Allen barges in, swearing vengeance for ruining his stand-up act.
Fight 2: Jim Carrey vs. Mariah CareyEdit
Upon returning to the arena, the second fight is about to begin. The feud between these two fighters began when, while both in an attendance of a Comic Relief charity event, Carrey embarrassed Carey with his talking butt-cheek routiune. After the introduction of the combatants, Mills Lane, rather than explain the rules, requests a comfortable pair of slippers and a nice ham sandwich, confusing both Carey and Carrey. When the fight begins, Carey attempts an intimidating advance, but is shot down when Carrey begins mocking her. Instead, Carey simply kicks Carrey in the groin, landing the first hit of the fight. After confusing her with what appears to be break-dancing, Carrey when executes a Mexican Hurricanrana on Carey; while the move in question is allegedly known as a 'match-ender', Carey's thick skull cushioned the blow. After a quick recovery, Carey punches Carrey in the face. Carrey provokes her to try it again, but this time manages to avoid each attempt, and subdues her by poking her in the eyes.
In the style of his Ace Ventura alter-ego, Carrey begins mocking Carey by way of his talking butt-cheek routine again. Carey kicks him, but inadvertently gets her foot stuck in his anus, causing a distressed Carrey to run around the ring dragging Carey behind him. Carey grabs a turnbuckle and manages to use her other foot to kick him off. Enraged, Carrey vaults behind her and grabs Carey in a choke hold. As Carey slips into unconsciousness, Mills begins the three-count. However, at the last second, Carey regains consciousness. She manages to strike Carrey with her elbow, allowing her to take a deep breath. With this, she starts singing in a painfully high note, causing Carrey to release her and cover his ears, much like the rest of the arena. After a few seconds, and unable to cope with the painfully high pitch of the note, Carrey's head begins swelling until it bursts. With Carrey dead, Carey is declared the winner of the fight.
After the commercial break, the Main Event of the episode is about to go underway. Allen and Seinfeld are in the ring, however Mills scolds Allen for bringing his tools from the set of Home Improvement, and tosses them into the audience, inadvertently killing audience member Don King with a screwdriver. When the fight begins, however, both audience and spectators Nick and Johnny are appalled at the sheer ridiculousness of the fighting in the ring, branding both Allen and Seinfeld wussies. At ringside, Richards, Alexander and Louis-Dreyfus offer empty words of support to Seinfeld throughout the fight.
The fight only starts getting interesting when Allen manages to give Seinfeld a wedgie, even managing to go further by stretching the waistline of his underwear over Seinfeld's head. Seinfeld breaks free by ripping out a large chunk of Allen's hair. While Seinfeld is distracted by riling the audience, Allen signals to the three at ringisde, and the four of them turn on Seinfeld in a surprise ambush. While Allen, Louis-Dreyfus and Alexander proceed to overpower Seinfeld, Richards grabs a microphone and begins speaking to the audience, explaining that they are angry that Seinfeld ruined their chances of receiving a pay rise "on their behalf", and that they are seeking revenge. Richards then attempts to launch himself from the turnbuckle, but accidentally slips and falls out of the ring.
It is implied that Seinfeld, while still being attacked by Allen, Louis-Dreyfus and Alexander, is suffering from internal bleeding, but due to the unsatisfactory level of violence taking place, Johnny and Nick decide to end the episode where it is, thanking the viewers for watching.
Behind the ScenesEdit
The producers of the show, in reference to the first fight felt that, because the feud between Clinton and Lewinsky was a reality, the fight would inevitably have to have been put into the show. The fact that there was no winner due to the fight's abrupt end, is open to interpretation.
After watching this particular episode, Mariah Carey contacted the producers, personally thanking them for her portrayal and victory on the show.
This episode makes several noteworthy allusions to an event or to a film/song relevant to each combatant:
- The Whitewater Scandal is referrenced, when Nick comments on Hillary's evasive skills with dodging Lewinsky's attacks, Johnny remarks that she learned such techniques from the secret service during the alleged controversial event.
- Ace Ventura: Pet Detective - Jim Carrey's "talking butt-cheeks" act is a direct referrence to this film.
- Don't it Make My Brown Eyes Blue - A song originally sung by Crystal Gayle; as to why this song title was reference in the Carey vs. Carrey match, where Carrey poked Carey in the eyes, is unknown.
- The Mask - A film in which Jim Carrey had the starring role. Seconds after Jim's defeat, Mariah Carey utters his character's signature catchphrase, "Smmmmmmmokin'!"